Wet Wipes And Wine

#5 The Parenting Whirlwind and Are You Truly Listening with Jill Tant

• Nikki Collinson-Phenix • Season 1 • Episode 5

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Navigating the fun of parenting? 

You're in good company here on Wet Wipes and Wine! Join me, Nikki Collinson-Phenix, as we tread the tightrope walk of parenting, with a special nod to those unexpected in-flight acrobatics. This episode features the remarkable Jill, who traded in her corporate heels for the no-less daunting world of full-time motherhood. Together, we discuss the underbelly of parenting - from the pangs of anxiety to the pursuit of the often elusive 'perfect' parent model - and how the pandemic magnified these struggles. Revel in Jill's journey towards becoming a wellness coach, a beacon for other moms in the throes of similar battles.

When's the last time you savored the sound of your child's laughter, even amid the chaos of a tantrum-filled day? We get real about the bittersweet symphony of parenting - the crescendo of a newborn's cries against the soft decrescendo of fleeting joyous moments. In this episode, we unwrap the gift of community support and the solace found in therapy, all the while navigating the transient, yet profound, journey of raising children. It's a heart-to-heart that affirms you’re not alone in forgetting the trials when the triumphs of parenthood shine through.

For all the moms out there treading water, this one's for you. We're swapping war stories and sharing strategies for maintaining sanity in the beautiful bedlam of raising kids. Hear how a moment’s pause can transform reactions into thoughtful responses, and how admitting to our parenting flubs can strengthen the fabric of our family life. From anecdotes to actionable advice, this episode is packed with wisdom for those looking to enrich their parenting playbook. So pour yourself some liquid patience, grab a wet wipe, and let's navigate this wild adventure together.

To connect with Jill visit:
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Websites:
Life In A Can - For all the travel adventures
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Global Trailblazing - Nikki's amazing global kids club and kids social network!
Africa Childrens Development Trust - Nikki's bit of good in the world #givingback

Speaker 1:

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Speaker 2:

Quick Pass me the wipes. Hi and welcome to Wet Wipes and Wine, the podcast for parents who maybe want to live life a little bit differently from the norm. Maybe you want to travel more as a family or just explore new possibilities. Maybe you have family dreams you want to achieve, or maybe you just want to be surrounded by people who remind you that when life throws a load of parent and crap at you, that wet wipes or wine is usually the answer. I'm your host, nikki Collins and Phoenix, and each week I'll be bringing you real life stories from my own parenting journey. I'll also be welcoming guests to share theirs, as well as introducing you to new ideas, thoughts, tips and tricks from my little black book of awesome people.

Speaker 2:

Welcome to Wet Wipes and Wine. Too early for wine. Hey everyone. It's Nikki here, your host of Wet Wipes and Wine the podcast. I am so thrilled to have you here today to come and hang out with me for another dose of fun, a bit of entertaining, a bit of inspiration, maybe a bit of education I did start to think about I don't even know if it's a word, but I think what was I came up with? Come at like in in spurtaining or enter some kind of combo to do with entertaining and inspiring, but hopefully by the end of this episode you will just sit there and think do you know what? That was a really good use of 30 minutes of my time to come and hang out with Nikki, because she has some really cool people come on the show too, and one of those amazing people that I have coming on the show today is the lovely Jill. Hi, jill, you've come and joining us from the beautiful area of Florida.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes welcome, thank you.

Speaker 2:

You're welcome. Now listen, I have been to Florida once. I did actually do the flight from the UK with a six month old baby, quite tagged on, to be honest. Actually, my family were going to Florida and I was to do the whole Disney World thing and I was very much a last minute dot com arrival and and just thinking about my parenting journey which has just come to my mind, thinking about my trip to Florida. And so was my last connecting flight where my daughter was crying and crying and crying and this woman on the seat in front of me got up and did the glare and she said I think your baby is hungry and I remember going.

Speaker 2:

I think you need to just sit down, you know, because I was like breastfeeding at the time, like I knew if my kid was hungry or not. You know, I'd had a six months by then. I kind of knew the drill. But I have to say, absolutely loved Florida. What was the name of this restaurant? The Golden Corral. Oh yeah, it's like, it's like. Oh my God, it's like food heaven in that place. Are they still around?

Speaker 1:

You know, the pandemic actually got rid of those because you know it's like the big buffet and so everybody was kind of getting their fingers in there. They actually all pretty much closed down, I think. Oh my God, that is like that is like heartbreaking.

Speaker 2:

It's probably one of the favorite places I've ever been to. Now listen to. Let's tell people a little bit about you. So you spent a good 13 years in corporate banking and I have an ex corporate banking background to not 13 years. I didn't survive that. I think I did about six or seven, but not 30.

Speaker 2:

And then you decided to leave your full time career to focus on being a mom to your two kids. And yes, it was a tough decision because obviously that was your career. But you know, as you said and we'd be talking about that actually being a full time mom became even tougher and you really started to struggle with anxiety, frustration, feeling overwhelmed and that pressure to be a perfect mom which is like, hello over here, recovering perfectionist. So I totally get that. And then you talk about how the pandemic really increased your anxiety and stress and by 2021 you were ready to start something new. And then, out of the everything negative of the pandemic, you managed to turn something really positive into it by becoming a health and wellness coach and now you're specializing in helping other moms who are filming, feeling that overwhelmed and an anxiousness.

Speaker 2:

Can you tell me a little bit about what that felt like you know that that time. You know, because the reason why I want you to share it is because there's going to be people listening to this show who are right in the midst of that right now, and I want to normalize it in the context of they're not alone. Like you know, lots of people experience this, so that when we get to the end of this episode, they're gonna start feeling that they're one, that other people get them and two, perhaps they've got some strategies and perhaps they've got a little bit of guidance and some things, some steps that they can start. So can you talk through how this all started, building up, what it felt like when you were going through this journey?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, when my son was born my first child, you know I was an only child, my husband was an only child, and so neither one of us had really any experience with babies at all when he was born, I changed my first diaper ever. So you know, I think that idea of what you have in your mind, of what having a baby is gonna be like, and then when it actually happens, is very different.

Speaker 2:

And so the Royal Reality Check. Isn't it Like when, all of a sudden life, human being?

Speaker 1:

now you're responsibility and you're like holy crap what we're gonna do you think it's gonna be, you know, just perfect and wonderful. And there are parts of it that are wonderful, but you know, it just really flipped our world around. We weren't expecting to, you know, we just weren't, we didn't know what to expect. And so, yeah, it was a lot of anxiety, a lot of you know, am I doing this right? What's you know? What am I doing wrong? But you know, I think just talking about it with other moms is really important, because you realize you're not alone. You know, because you do feel so alone sometimes when you're just stuck in those moments and it's so hard and you don't feel like you're ever gonna get out of it. You know, I think that's just that feeling of overwhelm.

Speaker 2:

When did you first? When did you first notice it? Was it from the moment your son was in your arms and you felt overwhelmed? Or did it gradually kind of creep up on you and all of a sudden you're in dismay? I'm gonna combust.

Speaker 1:

I think the initial, when he was first born, it was, you know, happy joy, you know. And the first night in the hospital he swiped and we were like, oh, you know, this was not so bad. And then the second night he just stopped crying, you know, crying, crying, crying. And this was the story I told you about.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but we, you know, we were like we called the nurse and we were like, oh my gosh, there's something that's wrong with him. He just won't stop crying and she looks at us and she's like that's what babies do they cry? You know, my husband, I just looked at each other like, oh my gosh, what do we do? You know, this is-.

Speaker 2:

How many times do you think right? I would love to ask actually a midwife I've got a friend of mine, he's a midwife. Actually I might ask her one day and I'd say I wonder how many times they actually have to say those words to all those first time parents that are now like there's clearly something wrong with this baby because it won't stop crying and they have to go and do the reality check memo of like it's a baby.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'd be fascinated to know.

Speaker 1:

But I mean, I think the anxiety just kind of grew. You know, we got home and just trying to settle into a new routine.

Speaker 2:

Had you had anxiety before, like was this something that you'd suffered with in the past and this just reignited it, or did this left field out of nowhere?

Speaker 1:

You know, I think I've always kind of had some sort of anxiety, but I think definitely when and who was the one it amped up? Yeah, when I got very frustrated, you know, with not being able to console him, like just that feeling of I'm not doing anything right, I can't get it right. I went back to see my OBGYN and she suggested going to a therapist, which I did, which really helped, and I think when my husband went back to work, that kind of was really that was really hard because, then I remember saying the support person is not there.

Speaker 2:

You're like on your own now, aren't you, you know?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I remember saying you're just gonna leave me here by myself. You're gonna leave me here Like Was he, I've got?

Speaker 2:

to ask was he like really really concerned about that but secretly couldn't wait to get out of the door to go back to, you know, to go back to that, to having that a period of time where he wasn't responsible for the crying baby? He could just like check out? Do you think, like secretly, was skipping out of that?

Speaker 1:

door back to work. I'm sure, yeah, I'm sure he was ready to get out. But yeah, I mean, I think that time too was, you know, and I looked back on that time and in the moment I felt anxious, frustrated, you know, overwhelmed. But looking back on it, I kind of missed it in a way. You know you missed those moments a little and now. He'll be 12 in like two weeks and so-.

Speaker 2:

My daughter's just turned 12 and there's something about 12. Like I look at her now and I'm like where's I call it? I still call her baby girl and I'm like where's my baby girl gone? Like I'm seeing very much. You're probably seeing a young man. I'm now seeing a young lady appearing, as opposed to a kid.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And I'm like you know, even like last night. So my son is six and he's never slept very well, and so he came in in the middle of the night and he actually he normally climbs in between me and my husband, but last night it's about three o'clock in the morning he climbed on me and snuggled right up to me and I just left in there and I was just hugging him, thinking this is precious, because people tell you these times go so quickly, and you're like, oh no, they don't, they don't. And then like you're sitting there, you know, with a 12 year old or whatever, and thinking where did that go? And I remember just holding him last night thinking I just wanna, I wanna package this up and just keep it, because there will come a time when this won't happen. And so you're right, isn't it? It's a bit like it's like childbirth, isn't it Like it's horrific at the time, but then afterwards it wasn't quite so bad.

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Until you go back and do it again, and then you're reminded yeah, it was that bad. But again you get past it because the end result is worth it ultimately, isn't it?

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, you kinda forget how bad it is.

Speaker 2:

You forget the bad bits, yeah, yeah. So when you think about that time with the anxiety and what kind of things did you that it held you back? Did you feel confident to go out a lot as a mom? Did you feel like, oh yeah, I can go out, I feel okay. Or did you feel like a bit feel socially withdrawn cause I don't feel like I can go out, I don't feel confident to go out, I don't wanna meet up with people because something might happen? How did it affect the day to day journey of you being mom?

Speaker 1:

You know I felt like getting out really helped a lot. And I mean when he was really small. You can't go many places because of him, but I actually joined a group of moms that met in the park and did like a workout it was called Stroller.

Speaker 2:

Oh, it's just like like we had one in the UK. It's called Buggy Fit or something.

Speaker 1:

This was called Stroller Strength, yeah, and I did that and that really helped actually because I was, I love fitness and stuff. Anyway, it was a way to kind of connect with other moms and get out, because I felt like at least if I could get out of the house most days just for a little while to go do that for an hour or try to go to the store or something, it did help make the day not so long, because the days are long and the nights are long yeah, you're not running on a lot of sleep, and so I did feel like getting out helped.

Speaker 2:

And so when you were like meeting up with these other moms, yeah, let's try and see were you were they experiencing the same kind of things or were they all like rocking it?

Speaker 2:

You know who's like, I think, sometimes parents or moms. We're talking about moms here, but you know the same applies for dads. I think somewhere on the line, this need to be perfect means that you know there's parents out there that are possibly really struggling, but they don't want to put their hand up and say, actually, I am finding this really, really hard. It's like, you know, we're meant to innately just be able to rock this out of the park from day one and yet we've never done it before.

Speaker 2:

Would you, because you had that community that you were part of, were you able to have conversations enough for them to say, actually I'm struggling too? Or with the moms that you work with? Do you think I still think it's hard for women in particular and I'm talking from a women's perspective but I'm looking at my husband and going actually, you know he's not always the greatest person to put his hand in the air and say, actually, I'm struggling too? Do you still see that a lot with the women that you're working with the moms that you're working with Is the admission.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I feel like there's so much pressure to be perfect and to be that perfect mom and feel like you have everything together.

Speaker 1:

I feel like a lot of times we compare ourselves to other moms. You know, you see these other moms out and they seem like they are all together, but yeah, they probably don't. You know, I mean, I don't think anyone has a 100% together, right? You know? So I never really connected with those moms on that level at that time because I think I felt that pressure to be perfect and I didn't really feel comfortable. I didn't know them well enough and feel comfortable enough to kind of admit my struggles to them and they never really talked about it. Yeah, so you know, I didn't with them, but with the moms I work with now, yeah, that's definitely what I'm doing.

Speaker 2:

Would you say from when you look back at, say, your own upbringing, on your own childhood experiences? Are there any parts of that journey, do you think that have shaped the mom that you've become now? Are there any things when you can go back and go yeah, I'd learned that, or actually because of that I don't do that. Or is there anything from when you were growing up that you've brought in that really has kind of been part of the parent you've become?

Speaker 1:

You know I was an only child. My parents divorced when I was 13 and so that was really hard on me, you know. I think I definitely don't want to put my kids through anything like that, but you know it's hard to remember. I think back sometimes about when I was my kids age and it's hard to remember those days. You know I had a good childhood, I think. You know both my parents, you know, were there for me.

Speaker 2:

So were there aspects of that then? Because you had your parents that were there for you, that you've made sure that you know as a parent yourself. Now that's something you've transferred kind of over into your parenting style.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, I want to be there for everything you know, and that was part of the reason I left my career behind at the bank because when my son turned three I realized I had I feel like I'd missed the first three years of his life and I was like I don't want to do this anymore. I want to be there. I want to be at all the school, then I want to, you know, I want to be there for everything, because you only get one chance and you're not going to get that.

Speaker 2:

All right, and I can hear you with that. You know, because I was the kid that I didn't have the people there watching all of my stuff. You know, maybe there's a handful of things I can remember somebody being there to watch. And yet I was enrolled in everything at school and it was. And I kind of said to myself, if I want to think back, something for my childhood was that when I am a mom I'm gonna be there. And so when they were little and I was working a bit more part-time and stuff like that, it was a little bit easier. I was there.

Speaker 2:

And then gradually, as they started going to school, and then I started working around them. And then the next thing I know they're in after school clubs because I've got to work late. And then when I'm picking them up somewhere, you've got to feed them. And then they're going to evening activities, whether it's athletics club, scouts, whatever it is they're going to in the evening. And then I'm like I saw them when they woke up. I threw some food at them and I'm putting them to bed.

Speaker 2:

And it's Monday to Friday and I'm like I haven't even seen them. And then Saturday I'd be like, okay, we've got to clean the house. We've got to get the laundry on, get everything sorted. And then Sunday was trying to do something as a family. But already I knew my brain was thinking about Monday and that's kind of like why we decided a couple of years ago why we started traveling, why we decided to step away. You know, I had I've been a chiropractor for many, many years but I felt much as I loved my job like you say, I didn't. I was missing the time of my kids and my kids were growing up and I'd made this kind of inner pledge I'm going to be there. And I've noticed that I just I wasn't being there in the way that I wanted to be there. And so now you know I'm with my kids all the time. They do online schooling and a mix of home schooling and stuff, but like I really know my kids now, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm there and like it makes such a difference, doesn't it? And? But it takes. It takes courage and I'm not saying this to blow sunshine out my backside or anything like that but to step away, like you did, to step away from something that is you know, what you know, and whether that's financially as well as you know having a job and all that. To go and do that it does take some courage, but if you can do it, you, you know it's so worthwhile to just be there for them, isn't it?

Speaker 2:

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Speaker 1:

I don't think I realized how stressful that was until I quit doing it and then looked back and I'm like gosh, how did I do that?

Speaker 2:

How did I do?

Speaker 1:

that.

Speaker 2:

And you know, if you watch some of those you know I've even seen like those, the documentaries where they kind of just put five year olds together and stuff and you listen to them chat and then they'll ask these kids questions and stuff. And one of the things that I always take from these kind of programs is they nearly always will ask something along the lines of if you could have anything, what would it be? Or I think that kind of question, and nearly always that child wants to spend more time with their mom spend more time with their dad, spend more time.

Speaker 2:

They don't actually want the latest bike or the latest PlayStation or the latest game, they wanna spend time. Even like I used to. I was always a big fan. I used to watch Super Nanny, joe Frost, super Nanny. I always loved that program.

Speaker 2:

I know she's a bit like what we would call in the UK, a bit like Marmite. You either like it or you don't like it. I've always liked her. But even on like yeah, even on like that show, most of the time when the kids are acting up and stuff, a lot of it is for attention, isn't it? A lot of it is around. She'll take these kids to the side and say, what's it all about? And it is. I just wanna spend time with them. I just wanna spend time with them.

Speaker 2:

So I know it's really hard sometimes, when there's financial demands and things like that, to find that balance. And I don't know what you would say. But one of the things I would say even before I left all of that work, when I knew that I wasn't being as present as I wanted to be and I wasn't in the position to step away like I am now, I tried to just at least carve out one evening where it would be like a couple of hours and it was just me and my daughter, for example, what do you wanna do? Do you wanna go to the movies? Do you wanna?

Speaker 2:

Sometimes it would be as simple as mom I just wanna hang out in the bedroom and do face masks and do a spa. I just wanna be with you. I just wanna hang out with you. Or maybe we could go for a walk, or maybe we could go to the coffee shop and get like hot chocolate or a cake or something like that. I don't know, but just to know. They may not always tell you those kids, they may not tell you that's the thing, that they wanna spend time with you. But just know that they do, don't they, yeah, and the time passes.

Speaker 1:

I love doing that too. I mean, I do that now. So my son that's almost 12 and I have a daughter that just turned seven, and so I try to every so often take them alone to do something.

Speaker 2:

Whatever we'll choose, like, let's go my daughter and I like to go do cooking classes or something, and just the two of us will go do that.

Speaker 1:

I'll take my son to just do something, just the two of us, and so I just I love that, I love that time. And you don't get it back, and pretty soon. With him being 12, not too much longer he's not gonna wanna hang out with mom.

Speaker 2:

He's not gonna wanna hang out with mom. That's true. That's true. Now, one of the things, my son, because our kids are like opposite age wise. So my son is gonna be seven soon and it's really sweet because he's so in calls with date night. He's got date night with mom and I absolutely just love that.

Speaker 2:

I absolutely love it. And you know, like yesterday, he said the most beautiful thing I overheard in speaking to my husband and I asked him to repeat it because I went and got my phone and said and recorded what did you say? He was doing some work on a property that we're on and we're doing renovating and he was out with these tools and he's six now and I overheard him say daddy, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you and I wanna learn all these things. And I just and I saw my husband's face was just like he was about to like just go to pieces, because I was like that's like the greatest compliment in the world, isn't it?

Speaker 2:

I mean it probably changed next week, but in that moment that was the greatest compliment in the world. Now, if you could go back to you pre, when you had your son, when you didn't actually know what lie lay ahead, would there be something that you would wanna like send back, like, I think, like a time capsule? Would there be something that you'd wanna send back, whether it's a piece of advice or a piece of equipment or just something that you would go? If I could just go back and tell you this now, or give you this now, just to help you in those early days, what would it be?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, I think it's just knowing that it's gonna pass, you know, because you're in that one, it's all a phase.

Speaker 1:

Everything's a phase. You're in that moment and you feel like it's never gonna end or you don't know when it's gonna end. But I will say, when we had my daughter, I felt like I was a completely different mom with her and she was a completely different baby. She was so calm and just easy. I guess you know, you're an easy baby. She was just very easy, very calm, happy, and I feel like a lot of that was me. And when I was with him I was so anxious and I feel like a lot of that anxiety that I had kind of rubbed off on him and made him more fussy and probably anxious too. And with her I was more calm because I had been through it and I knew it was gonna end and I knew it was gonna be over. You know the baby stage and I kind of tried to enjoy it. I feel like with my son I just wanted to just get through it and I didn't really enjoy it. So I guess that's what I would tell myself is slow down, enjoy it, don't rush through it.

Speaker 2:

This two shall pass as they say isn't it?

Speaker 1:

I think it's just, it's a mindset, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so now then there's nothing to do with corporate finance Now, it's all in health and wellness, and you're helping these other moms now who are feeling a bit overwhelmed and anxious. And there's gonna be moms that are listening to this right now who are in that state right now and are feeling like they're firefighting this whole parental journey. If you, in your role as a coach, what three tips could you share with our listeners? Just if there's somebody out there right now that could just go this is me right now that you could give them to help them. What would you share?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

so I think tip number one is just don't try to fix everything, especially as your kids get older and I'm kind of I don't know the term helicopter parent I'm a recovering helicopter parent still to this day but, like, don't try to fix everything. You know, like, if they're struggling, if they're having a hard time, you know whatever, getting their shoes on, whatever it is just kind of give them a little bit of time to try and figure it out on their own. Because as they get older and I see this with my son as he gets older there's things I wish he would do for himself that he doesn't, and I feel like that's because I was always trying to fix it and always trying to do everything for him. So that's one piece of advice Listen to your kids. Like, I feel like a lot of times when our kids are upset, they're having a meltdown, whatever it is we're just like, oh, stop crying, you're okay.

Speaker 1:

But I think you know, just taking a few minutes to listen to what you're, asking some questions, you know, how are you feeling?

Speaker 1:

What can I do to help you right now, validating their feelings, instead of just pushing them, shutting it down, yeah, and saying you're okay, let's go move on, you know? And then the third one is probably the biggest one and probably one I would tell myself back in those days is take a moment before you respond and just gather yourself and so, like in the moment, you know and I do it too, you know we yell, we're angry. Why are you doing that? And so, instead of responding right away, just take a few minutes to breathe, think about it before you respond, because usually when we look back on situations we're like gosh, I wish I would have done this or I wish I would have done that after you've had some time to think about it. So just giving yourself that pause, that few minutes, or a few seconds even to take a couple breaths, and just say wait a minute, these are kids. You know, I'm the grown up. Let me just collect myself before I lose my patience.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I think that that's one that's really relevant to me right now that I'm trying to do, because I have, you know, the most amazing daughter.

Speaker 2:

But she is 12 years old, very hormonal and is just, you know, there's times when it's a pressure kicker of emotions between you know, her fighting everybody pressing the buttons. I'm juggling, I'm trying to do all these things and there's been a couple of times when we have just really gone bang and afterwards, like I don't know, I've gone to bed and I've just lay there thinking that was awful, like I did not deal with that, like I would have wanted to deal with that, and now I feel like I feel like shit now because, like it doesn't, I don't feel good, I didn't feel like that was a parenting win, and then, like the next day, I think it's really important, I think from For a couple of reasons. I think it's important to acknowledge that we don't always get it right. We're all just doing our best as parents, you know, and in that moment I'm like you didn't handle that that well. But I also think it's good, like the next day, because often this will be in the evening usually, and you know, but it's, I'll find myself, I will go up to her and I will, you know, give her my hug and just say like I'm sorry about what happened last night. You know, both of us didn't handle it very well, but I'm here putting my hands up going. I did not handle it in the way that I would have liked to and I'm sorry, and you know, can we hug it out and that.

Speaker 2:

And I think it's important for her to see me also saying I didn't do it well, I didn't handle that very well, so that she says it's okay to say I messed up, you know, so that she will, you know, at times say she messed up. And so I certainly do. I'm getting to a point now where I'm really recognizing a few times that I can I can feel the bubbles coming up and trying to even check myself to say like just take a moment or step away, or you know, I just need to go in another room or just remove myself for a moment until I've calmed down, so that that one, like you said, that's really important and it is incredibly important, and one and I know that actually my daughter, actually I can see that she respects the fact that I will say I messed up, kid. You know I messed up baby girl like I didn't handle that very well and I'm sorry, but I think it's huge to be able to get to that point and just recognize it and step away.

Speaker 1:

Yeah it's so important such a valuable lesson. A lesson of like what you're saying going back and apologizing and I'm sorry I didn't, I didn't do a good job with that. I think that's a great lesson, and I think the walking away or taking time is a good lesson too, because I tell my kids but it takes some recognizing, though, doesn't it?

Speaker 2:

Because sometimes you just kind of steamroll it at the moment You're just like the next thing you know it's all just gone completely off the scale and then, and then you know, sometimes I'm just like I don't even know where this is going to go next, like we've got a just this just has to stop. But but you're absolutely, you're absolutely right for all of our sanities. We need to do that. We need to do that. So do you feel that in your work now, you are able to use what you've learned also to manage your own anxiety? You know, do you feel like you're kind of walking your talk a little bit as well now?

Speaker 1:

I do, I mean, you know, just I'm really big on this idea of community and mom talking about things like this, like us talking about losing our patience with our kids, because I felt like for so long it was taboo to talk about that. But it happens. You know it happens to all of us. Yeah, be able to talk about it and talk about strategies, of ways to not do that as much. I mean, it's probably still going to happen at some point. But you know, just having that conversation and saying look this is what I've been through.

Speaker 1:

This is how I made it work for me and listening to work for them.

Speaker 2:

There's someone to be able to realize that you know, I don't know about you, but one of the things I know when I've had like like I don't know, say we're going to the supermarket, one of the worst places for me to take my kids is to go and get the grocery shopping Right. That's just like my idea of hell. But so and so, where possible, I don't, I don't do it. But on occasion when you do do it and it's just awful, there's some kind of I don't know. It's some amazing feeling when you pass another family who are having the exact conversations with their kids as you are, and then you go three more aisles down and you've got another family that's having the exact same stuff.

Speaker 2:

And I just have this like little inner chuckle of just that reminder of like we're all going through the same journey but we're all just doing our best. And you know, if I could put any message out to anybody listening, you know is, you know, be kind to yourself. You're doing. You're doing your best. We can only do our best, that's. All we can do is to do that Now, if our listeners want to connect with you away from here, you know, maybe if they want any support, or they would just really like to sort of just maybe a little bit more in your world. What's the one place that you can share that they could is the best place for them to come and to find you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so my coaching business is Waterfall Wellness Coaching and my website is waterfallcoachcom. Okay that's fantastic. Reach out, and I'm on Facebook and Instagram too, which you can get to that on my website.

Speaker 2:

Okay, that's fantastic. Thank you so much, jill, for getting up and joining us. I know it was early over with you in Florida. I've absolutely loved chatting with you today and thank you for sharing your parenting highs and lows and your experience, and I really appreciate it. And to you guys, wherever you are in the world listening to this podcast, I hope you've enjoyed this episode today Really. Thank you for coming and joining us. The link to Jill's website will be on the show notes so you will find it somewhere around where you are right now and I will catch up with you on the next episode of Wet Wipes and Wine. Take care now. Bye-bye.